Q. I have three children in their early twenties. There is a fashion in their circles not to know each other’s surnames. They always introduce themselves to each other, and to one, by Christian names only. Perhaps they feel it adds to the mystery of their lives. Last weekend, however, I had 32 of my daughter’s friends to stay for a party. Only when they were leaving and were signing the visitors’ book did I see their surnames and realise that three of them were children of old friends of mine. By then it was too late to catch up with news. How can I get around this frustration, Mary?
A.E., Pewsey, Wiltshire
A. When the young arrive at your house, produce the visitors’ book and ask them to sign in rather than out. In this way you can satisfy your curiosity before it is too late.
Q. May I pass on a tip to readers? It is much better to watch the football with the mute button on and listen to the live commentary on the radio.
J.F., London SW12
A. Thank you. I understand this much reduces the annoyance of the South African horn noise.
Q. I have been invited to what I assume will be a very smart dinner in London. The person giving the party is the daughter of a great old friend of mine who is sadly no longer with us. My problem is that my wife’s name does not appear on the invitation. This is not particularly odd as my wife travels and works abroad a lot and is almost always too busy to attend things. On this occasion, however, she will be free and I would like her to come too. How can I indicate her availability and thereby possibly orchestrate an invitation for her as well without seeming to be pushy?
Name and address withheld
A. You should collude with a mutual friend who is invited to the same dinner. Have this person telephone the party-giver to announce that on the evening of the dinner she is first dropping into your house for drinks with you and your wife. ‘Have you asked them by any chance?’ She should enquire. ‘If not I won’t mention what I am going on to, as it might depress them that they have not been asked. I am sure they would both love to be coming.’ Depending on the answer, your mutual friend can take it from there.
Q. For the second year running I found myself in the position of ‘block booking’ train tickets to Glastonbury for my daughter and her friends from school to ensure they would all be sitting together. I agreed to take charge because my daughter said that none of the other mothers would ‘get it together’. I paid the £376.80, using my credit card, and emailed each mother reminding them how much they owe and asking them to give me cheques when convenient, but so far only one payment has been put through my door. I bumped into a couple of the mothers at a party last week. They clamped their hands over their mouths saying, ‘I must drop that money round or post you a cheque.’ Last year I did eventually get the money, but how can I deal with recouping what is owed to me in a speedier but still tactful fashion, without wanting to seem desperate?
B.G., Dulwich
A. Since all the tickets will have been posted to your own address, put aside the time to drive round and hand deliver each train ticket to each mother in their own home. It will be a tedious operation but once you are standing on the doorstep they will be unable to postpone paying you.
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