Q. I was brought up in South Africa and did graduate studies in the US. When I moved to London in the mid-1970s I encountered ‘put downs’ at dinner parties when I mispronounced aristocratic English surnames which I had only seen written. I had some exposure to them in South Africa but obviously not enough. (It was rather like the ‘snooty’ reaction I got when I called Albany ‘The Albany’ — as does Wilde in Importance… — but as I actually lived there from 1976 to 1981 I ignored the criticism.) A clever reply would have been very useful but I did not have one. Now I am living in Australia I wonder if you have any ideas which I can pass on to Australian friends who find themselves in a similar situation when visiting England?
D.A., Noosa, Australia
A. Snobbery over English name pronunciation is currently on the decline. Earl Spencer himself is often heard to mispronounce Althorp as spelt rather than the correct Althrup. Meanwhile, members of the Cecil family unflinchingly respond to Cecil as spelt when the correct pronunciation is Sissil. Even so, your Australian friends may still find themselves mocked when they make these inevitable gaffes. To give scale to the problem, Debrett’s Correct Form (£17.99) lists eight full pages of booby-trap name pronunciations. Should mockery occur, a chippy response is inappropriate. Instead, delight should be feigned as they beg for further examples of these quaint English perversities.
Q. One of my best friends took up writing poetry three years ago. Day in, day out, new poems come winging to me by email across the Atlantic. She says writing poetry is now her life’s work but insists she cannot do it without my comments on — and approval of — each and every poem ‘hot off the press’. While thrilled she has found a new vocation, I am tired of wading through so many almost impenetrable verses and having to come up with something intelligent to say about each. Her rate of production seems to be increasing — in the past three weeks alone, 25 new poems! I fear for my sanity. How can I stop this ceaseless flow without causing the gravest offence? Full credit to her, her first Collected Poems was professionally published some months ago in the US. The dedication, most touchingly put, was to me.
Name and address withheld
A. Confide in your friend your worries that you have recently become somewhat stale as a thinker. You no longer have confidence in your judgment of her work — especially now it has entered a new league of excellence. You would never forgive yourself if you held her progress back. Consequently you advise her now to find a new sounding board and, indeed, to refresh this role on a regular basis.
Q. I am currently paying 29.9 per cent on a credit card bill on which I have no hope of paying anything but the interest. Meanwhile a pensioner friend is getting only 1 per cent on his savings. Would it be wrong for me to suggest he pay off my debt (of £5,000) while I repay him at, say, 10 per cent interest?
Name and address withheld
A. It is best not to do business with friends. Instead suggest he introduce you to another new pensioner. While you do secured business with Pensioner Two you can meanwhile introduce Pensioner One to one of your own credit-card-indebted friends that he has not met before.
Comments