Dear Mary | 28 January 2012

Q.  How should one discourage a fellow diner from helping himself too greedily from a dish you are enjoying yourself? A writer friend invited me to lunch in the River Room at the Savoy Hotel. The treat was only marred when the pudding course arrived: ‘opalys white chocolate jelly sphere’. This was a thin chocolate shell over which the waiter poured perhaps a dessert spoon of hot chocolate sauce, bursting the shell and revealing the content within — a raspberry hibiscus ice cream.

It was the single most delicious thing I have ever eaten but I had only had one spoonful when my friend’s husband, who was next to me and had not ordered a pudding, asked could he taste it. ‘Of course,’ I said. He then ate say, six spoons’ worth to my further one. His wife did not seem to notice and I did not know how to stop him. It was what might be called gustus interruptus of the worst kind and as a result I have not yet written to thank. How best could I have retained my dignity — and my pudding?  
—M.B., London W9

A. After his second spoonful you might have broken the spell by crying merrily, ‘You have it all! I insist!’, as you repositioned the whole dish in front of him. Since you were in the Savoy, attentive waiters would have been on hand to catch your eye and interpret your wordless body language: ‘Please bring another one.’ Should the same thing happen in a lesser establishment, push your chair away from the table and say pleasantly: ‘Go on — I insist you eat the whole thing. I had a really delicious pudding last week. I don’t deserve another one.’