Dear mary

Q. I was staying recently with a very old girlfriend and her mother at her mother’s house in the country in England and was given my old girlfriend’s bedroom for the weekend on the upper attic floor. I suspect that the room had not been used for a long time. The house is not centrally heated and is rather musty. I came away from a wonderful weekend very badly bitten by bedbugs and the bites are still causing me discomfort three weeks later. What should I do? Should I tell her so she can throw away the old mattress and fumigate the room and prevent any other guests from suffering similarly? Will she take offence?

— A.L., Chile

A Since bedbugs can hide in luggage and aeroplane seats, their renaissance is linked to international travel, expensive hotels and glamour rather than Dickensian squalor, so no victim of infestation need feel shame. You can also tell your ex-girlfriend that Rentokil has developed a chemical-free means of eliminating bedbugs which means you do not have to throw out the infested bed. It is called Entotherm and it has won the Best Business Award for Best Innovation in the Private Sector 2010.

Q. What does a person with virtually no money give as a present to friends who are incredibly generous? I spend so many weeks and weekends as a house guest of alpha friends, but I cannot return the hospitality in my little flat to any degree of comparison. I earn a pittance as a decorator’s assistant but I feel uncomfortable about accepting and never giving back.