Q. Coming across a secluded pool while walking in the Picos in Spain on a very hot day we had an exhilarating skinny-dip, followed by some rather silly antics for forty-somethings. By chance a couple we know but detest (the husband is always ogling me) were staying in the same hotel. Since our return he keeps making sly remarks in front of us which can only mean that they saw all this; possibly they even followed us. Should I or my husband confront the pest?
—Name and address withheld
A. There is no reason for you to worry about loss of dignity when humiliation should rightly be heaped on the Peeping Toms. Simply purchase a dvd of the award-winning 2006 film The Lives of Others. This subtle drama of Stasi surveillance in 1984 East Berlin involves a saddo bugging the flat of an interesting playwright. Make an enigmatic present of the dvd to the couple — refuse to be drawn on why you think they will enjoy it.
Q. Apropos recent letters, unintentional ‘bosom-flashing’ can also be a social problem. As a new diplomatic wife in Central America I attended a dinner wearing a strapless long cotton dress with elasticated top, and little else. When I saw the ambassador’s wife rise at the end of the meal, I dutifully shot to my feet. But the skirt of my dress was trapped under my neighbour’s chair leg and the top did not rise with me. The ambassador’s wife saved the day, she said: ‘Oh, what rotten luck. But how delightful!’ — and some even clapped. The compliment made me feel better, but my husband later remarked: ‘Good thing you weren’t standing for the national anthem — they play all seven verses’!
—S.b., East Hoathley, Sussex
A. Thank you for sharing this enjoyable vignette.
Q. I have been invited to a small drinks party at which one of the guests is a celebrity whom I have just about heard of but about whom I know nothing. In order to be able to have some sort of intelligent conversation with him, should I Google him? Googling seems nosy. Not Googling seems a bit blasé. A conversation beginning ‘I looked you up on Google’ does not feel quite right. Sounding informed as if one hadn’t Googled might be taken, at best, as disingenuous. I hardly know my hosts so doubts of the same sort apply there also.
—T.F., London NW3
A. Any celebrity worth his or her salt is delighted to meet a new person who has no idea who they are. It comes as a blessed relief to be judged, for once, on your personal emanations in the here and now. Who, at a drinks party, cares if their fellow guests are ‘out of touch’ as long as they are congenial? Incidentally, there is a growing realisation that the hallmark of a really good party is now one at which there are no celebrities.
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