Q. A friend has asked me to a small birthday dinner, but she has also, unwittingly, asked a man with whom I have an embarrassing issue. In a nutshell, he invited me on a date and then didn’t call on the day or since. I have met someone else so I am not bitter. But I could have been really demoralised (because we snogged and so on). It was all against my better judgment anyway because, although he is very good-looking, he is a Tory and I am not, but I still think he should not get away scot-free, so can you recommend a way in which I can demoralise him at the dinner without creating a bad atmosphere generally?
—B.J., London W11
A. This is the wrong attitude to take. Parents with naughty children should never discipline them under someone else’s roof. The same rule applies here. Rise above the ‘abuse’ and be particularly friendly and effervescent towards this lothario. Forgive — not least because you need to keep him in your network so you can roll him out for one of your spinster girlfriends who might be able to exert better control over him.
Q. A work colleague sitting just a couple of metres away from me in a corner of the office that we alone share seems to be very fond of his three mobiles. He keeps all of them with a high volume setting and he constantly receives calls, texts and emails for which he has assigned a plethora of different sounds and ringtones. I find the continuous interruptions quite distracting, not to mention at times jolting when a sudden loud musical tone interrupts my focus. I have tried to joke on the matter, even to put my own mobile on loud to show him how annoying this can be but to no avail. He does not really seem to care or to consider there is anything wrong with his behaviour. How can I have him silence his phones, put them on vibrate, or at least set them on a milder, less penetrating mode? —M.T., London W1
A. Record his three ringtones in sequence, then use the chaotic medley as the alarm tune on your own mobile. Keep setting it to ring while you wander off without it. Your colleague will suffer serial adrenalin rushes and will quickly associate ringtones with confusion and misery. Then kindly suggest: ‘These ringtones are driving us both mad. Let’s have a pact — I’ll stop using mine as an alarm if you turn yours off or down.’
Q. Regarding the lady who wrote to you concerning footwear for a polo match; may I suggest that, although it is naff to wear high heels of the stiletto kind, my friends and I have always worn wedges. It gives us the extra height to remain elegant and yet the flat sole required to tread the divots.
—C.L., South Kensington
A. Thank you for this suggestion.
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