Q. A delightful but disorganised friend has invited several of our circle for a weekend at his family’s beautiful country home, having hosted a similar group last year. I have received all the particulars and accepted with pleasure. However, I know of another friend (in last year’s group) to whom the host mentioned the possibility of this year’s reprise, but she has not had full details. How can I delicately figure out if this is an oversight or deliberate?
— Name and address withheld
A. Ring the host and mention that you are thinking of asking for a lift with this friend but don’t want to put your foot in it if she hasn’t been asked. At this point the host will say that, sadly, for whatever reason, he hasn’t asked her this year. Or else he will say that he has (being disorganised he may think that he has) but she hasn’t yet let him know if she’s coming. If the latter, you can say ‘I’ll chase her’.
Q. I am a sergeant in the Queensland Police and recently had a bet with my former inspector about a work-related matter. The winnings were a carton of boutique beer which will cost the inspector the best part of A$100. We shook on the bet. The end date of the bet was nearly three weeks ago, but I have not seen my winnings. I know he remembers the bet and the date. It appears he does not feel he has to pay. Considering that he outranks me, how can I remind him with humour and respect that it would be ungentlemanly and dishonourable to not pay?
— Name withheld, Queensland, Australia
A. Set up a social or even work encounter with this man.
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