Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary… | 4 March 2006

Etiquette advice from The Spectator's Miss Manners

issue 04 March 2006

Q. I deeply fancy someone in my office who sits near me. Our exchanges have always been businesslike and I doubt she has noticed my interest. The other women I work with appear to find me congenial and we socialise outside the office although none seems to perceive me as a ‘sex object’. Having said that, former partners have never complained. I don’t want to risk ongoing embarrassment by making a move and being rejected, so how can I find out first if I have any chance?
Name and address withheld

A. Choose one of your female colleague friends to act as unwitting emissary. Confide that your concentration is being affected by vivid nightly dreams involving romantic congress with this woman which disconcert you during the day when you sit in such close proximity. Act daft and say you cannot imagine why you are having the dreams since neither of you has ever shown the slightest interest in each other.

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