Q. In response to correspondence re. wedding gifts: there is no need for a couple to have a list at John Lewis, and then translate gifts bought into vouchers — they should simply ask for John Lewis vouchers in the first place. This will save them the inconvenience of flogging around the store and, in their exhaustion, wildly listing things they will never use. Alternatively, stipulate an expensive item such as a Turkish carpet and suggest a donation to go towards that. The Turkish carpet option was requested at two weddings I have recently attended, and it did not strike a wrong note as we all knew where our money was going and that the couple would have a valuable item they could cherish for the rest of their lives.
— J.P., Pimlico
A. Thank you for your valued refinements. The expensive item solution works best when contributions can be ‘blind’, i.e. no one but the recipient knows the size of the individual donations.
Q. When given dinner by friends recently, I was presented with a plate which included a portion of lamb, cut from a joint into mouthful-size pieces. I put the first piece in my mouth and found it was mainly fat and gristle, so I chewed it and then removed it from my mouth with my fork and put it on the side of my plate. Every subsequent mouthful had the same texture and had to be jettisoned. The other diners finished their food, with no remains: my plate had a grey pile of chewed lamb which appeared larger than the original portion. My hostess cleared away without comment, but I was embarrassed. I had considered pocketing the offensive pile, but thought I lacked the sleight of hand to carry the manoeuvre off without detection.

Comments
Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just $5 for 3 monthsAlready a subscriber? Log in