Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 6 February 2010

Your problems solved

Q. On a recent visit to France, I met an old acquaintance from our village in England in the local market town. She invited me back to see her house and we went out to dinner that night and upon our return it became obvious that her intentions were amorous. Resisting her advances, I priggishly insisted on my own room for the night and retired to have a bath. The next morning I discovered that my treasured watch, left to me by my father, had disappeared from the bathroom, where I had left it the night before, beside my car keys, which were still there. Sadly the woman has form. She once removed a fax machine from a mutual friend’s house while he was away on holiday. Mary, how can I get my watch back, without actually having to call the woman a thief?

Name and address withheld

A. Confront the woman pleasantly. Tell her excitedly that ‘the most extraordinary thing has happened’. Explain that you could not think where your treasured watch had gone and was bitterly mourning its loss. Suddenly you remembered that your insurers had made you install a minuscule satellite tracking chip. You rang them up and, phew! They were able to trace the watch to her house in France! Isn’t modern technology astounding! By surprising her in this way, you will deny her the chance of ascertaining whether or not watches can have satellite tracking devices installed. If she is innocent she will offer to undertake a full forensic search of the house. If guilty she will fall into the trap of saying something like, ‘Well it’s not there any more’ or ‘But I brought it back to England’. In either case you will be well on the way to recovering your watch.

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