Q. I have lived in Indochina for more than six years but I am still invited to various society weddings, exhibition openings, concerts and parties in London. Here in Cochinchina plenipotentiaries are kind enough to include me to garden parties on their national days and receptions when they have visiting dignitaries. Even my host government extends its welcome on occasion. My problem is, how to display these invitations in a house without fireplaces and therefore without mantelpieces? One doesn’t want it assumed that one has become a social pariah just because one lives overseas and it would be a shame if visiting friends failed to realise that I am a part of the English social scene. At the same time it would be a pity if my local acquaintances were ignorant of my influential connections here in the East. I have considered but rejected the green baize pinboard latticed with riband such as we have in my London club. Do you feel I should follow the lead of R.L. Stevenson who, despite no chimney, had a fireplace installed in his study at Villa Vailima in Samoa? Can you suggest a less drastic but nevertheless conspicuous solution? I remain much agitated by being unable to display a particularly fine wedding invitation designed by Mr Humphry Stone that I received just two years ago. I would be grateful for a practical solution.
J.W., Phnom Penh, Cambodia
A. If your living quarters are bohemian, then stick the invitations into the hatbands of various panamas and straw hats hanging near your front door. If they are grand, then frame a large piece of glass and have this hanging in your entrance hall with the invitations insouciantly wedged between the frame and the glass. People will then have an excuse to examine them as they check their own reflections.
Q. In our country cottage we have no signal for mobiles and visitors have consequently always had to use the landline. In the past I have been very relaxed about this but now I want to save money. They always ask first, of course, so how do I say ‘keep it brief’ without spoiling the atmosphere?
Name and address withheld
A. Respond enthusiastically, ‘Oh do! But we have a weird new contract with BT which means you can only use so many minutes per month. So can you ask them to ring you back?’
Q. I have found a watercolour which has been languishing under wraps in our attic. It is by a well-known 18th-century artist and I would now like to put it to use in our drawing-room. The old 18th-century glass with which it was originally framed is wavy and attractive and I do not want to lose the charm of that rippled effect. On the other hand I have been informed that in order for the colours not to fade I need something called UV or ultraviolet glass which tends to give a very flat appearance. It is not that I am a snob — this is a purely aesthetic matter. How can I get around this, Mary?
A.A., Tetbury, Glos
A. Others have solved this problem by combining both UV glass and antique. A painting is first given the protective layer of UV glass and on top of this the antique glass can be replaced, or indeed added, to give the charming rippled effect you mention without there being any hint that UV glass lies beneath. P.R. Elletson of Pewsey is a framer who can supply this service.
If you have a problem write to Dear Mary, c/o The Spectator, 22 Old Queen Street, London SW1H 9HP.
Comments