Q. A friend had a glamorous book launch to which I was not invited but which was all over the papers. Since I regularly review books, this exclusion seems pointed. The implication is that I am no longer considered glamorous myself and she would not wish to be conflated with me in any review. What should I say when I next run into her?
— Name withheld, London NW1
A. Don’t assume the exclusion was deliberate. These days most publishers have unpaid interns, to whom such chores as guest lists are often deputed with predictable results. Your dignified response is to assume that being left off the list was a mistake. Next time you see her, cry, ‘I’m so sorry about missing your party but I promise you I did not even know about it until I saw the coverage the next day. Don’t worry. I am going to review your book anyway.’ In this way you can remind this friend of your continuing relevance to the literary world and she will be sure to invite you next time.
Q. When I stop off at a coffee shop in the mornings, on my way to work, I resent being asked by the person behind the counter whether I want ‘anything else at all?’ I am usually irritable first thing in the morning and not in the mood to explain why I don’t want to stuff myself with calorie-laden pastries on top of the over-priced coffee. ‘No thanks’ seems the wrong response as I can’t help feeling they shouldn’t be thanked for trying to tempt me.
— B.A., London W8
A. You cannot blame these operatives for trying to win brownie points — or maybe even bonuses — by notching up the sales. Taunt them, if you really must, by replying ‘Yes, there is something else I really want… now, what is it? Oh, I know, the receipt, please.’
Q. I work in a large, open-plan office with very nice colleagues. However, on several occasions recently people have come over to talk to me on work-related matters and, while standing next to me, have had their attention distracted by something on my computer screen. It has led to them making some remark — for example, ‘Oh I didn’t know you were going to New York’ — which then prompts everyone else sitting nearby to down tools and start a discussion on New York when I just want to get on with my work. It would be rude to minimise what I am working on, so how can I politely discourage colleagues from looking at my screen when they come over to my desk?
— M.B., Newcastle under Lyme
A. Set your computer to go to screen‑saver every 20 seconds if there is no keyboard action. In this way you can swivel back in your chair and be ‘hands off’ as the revealing data disappears of its own accord.
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