Q. I understand that a free version of Eton will be opening in a village near Windsor next year. One of my boys is already at School, but for financial reasons I would like to get him moved across if the educational and aspirational standards at Freeton are the same. How do I get his name on the list? Obviously I do not wish to ask School for advice.
—Name and address withheld
A. The school you refer to is to be called Holyport College, not Freeton. It opens in September 2014 and is entirely funded by Eton College, to help state-style pupils enjoy some of the inspirational teaching given at the alma mater of Boris, Dave and Justin. Holyport College will benefit from Eton staff’s expertise regarding syllabus-setting and pastoral care, and will also share some of the sporting facilities at the College. But the school will be co-educational, and male pupils will not wear tails to show that they are in mourning for George III, as at Eton. The admissions procedure is on the website www.holyportcollege.org.uk, but I suspect a transfer is a tall order and you would be better to talk to Eton about a bursary if you are struggling with the fees.
Q. I work as a tutor. On a recent long-haul assignment I lived in the family home of my tutee. When some local uprisings broke out, I wanted to know how the parents stood politically, but felt shy of asking them directly as they were not the most approachable of employers. You cannot assume, just because people can afford private tuition, that they are not lefties. How could I have asked?
—W.M., London W14
A. Indeed — tutors were famously called into the Blair household, as a 2002 Spectator scoop revealed. You could have asked your hosts ‘Which newspapers will best inform me about the current situation?’ or ‘Which channel gives the most truthful picture of the situation?’ and then asked the same question of their servants. Blinking as they replied, you would have then gone away and googled these media outlets to determine their leanings and thus shed light on those of your hosts.
Q. I need a new passport but Snappy Snaps told me that I cannot have a fringe in the photograph. My whole look is based around my heavy fringe and I just don’t suit not having one… I cannot face having a hideous passport picture for ten years.—C.B., Oxford
A. The rule is no hair ‘across your eyes’. Blow-dry your fringe around a hairbrush to bring it level with the top of your eyebrows. Then avoid the risk of cock-ups or delay by paying the stealth tax at the Post Office to have someone check your application form and photos before you send them off. It costs £72.50 to use your own brain and £81.25 for the Post Office’s check-and-send service.
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