Q. A friend in the fashion world telephoned me to say that she was sending round a handbag worth £400 for my Christmas present. She told me frankly that she would not normally spend £400 on me but she had been given this bag by a public relations person representing a certain designer and did not want it for herself. She added that, if by any chance I did not like it, she would prefer me not to sell the bag on eBay since the designer would inevitably get to hear of it and recognise the provenance of this ‘one off’.
The bag duly arrived. It is a very beautiful object in its own right, but not capacious enough to be of use to me or any of my friends. Clearly I cannot return it to the shop. What should I do, Mary? It seems such a waste.
Name and address withheld
A. Beautiful small handbags such as the one you describe make stylish doorstops when filled with a heavy substance such as sand. Put to such use, this present will be a joy for ever — either to yourself or to someone you pass it on to, and you can give heartfelt thanks to your friend.
Q. I am disturbed by your recent correspondence concerning the Maserati and a father wishing to show it off at his child’s school. When I was at my convent in the mid-Sixties, my mother had a bright blue Ford Galaxy, an American car with fins (nowadays occasionally seen around New Cross and Brixton). I spent each sports day, concert etc. in anguish wondering if my parents would arrive in this car. The only other people who had an American car were a rich American family with a chauffeur. My sensitivity over this matter was justified last week when someone who had been at prep school with my brothers during the same period remembered this car! It should be a parent’s priority at these school events not to embarrass their child by parading their worldly goods in this vulgar fashion.
E.S., London W11
A. Thank you for reminding readers that the sensitivity of any children involved in these displays should be taken into account before leaving car lights on or parking a car obstructively so as to be able ostentatiously to leave the assembled company when the call goes out ‘Will the owner of a Maserati, registration number….’ etc.
Q. One of my friends has become a counsellor. Now when I see her at dinner parties she often tells me that I am ‘co-dependant’ or ‘repressed’ or suffering from having ‘blurred boundaries’. She then warms to her theme and carries on with it even when I fail to engage. How can I tactfully steer her away from this line of conversation, or rather monologue, and back to the general discussion, chatter and gossip which is more appropriate to the dinner table?
L.G., Fosbury, Wilts
A. Interrupt her, pleading ‘You really mustn’t tell me any more. It’s not fair for me to have all this advice free. If you tell me any more I’ll have no option but to write you a cheque.’ This should staunch her flow.
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