Dear Mary: how do I avoid inviting someone to my hen do?

Q. I did a one-year cookery course in London a couple of years ago and then set myself up in business. Someone I know, who did the course prior to me and is an established dinner-party caterer, has been passing on to me work she can’t do (if she already has a booking on that night, for example). A couple of these people have told me they prefer my style of cooking and won’t be using her again. This puts me in an awkward position and I don’t know how to explain that I am getting repeat business from her introductions.

– S.R., Wantage

A. Business is business and it could drive more salt into any perceived (by you) wound if you don’t acknowledge these switchover clients. Write a breezy email saying: ‘Thank you so much for the introductions to X and Y. Would you like me to pay a commission, as I’ve had repeat business from them? And perhaps you could do the same if I put any business your way?’ This suggests an even playing field and sidesteps any idea of superiority on your part.

Q. An elderly friend, who I’m very fond of, has started sending me photos of what he considers interesting newspaper articles via email. This started as a trickle but has now become something much more and I simply don’t have the time or desire to read them all. More often than not he will follow up by telephoning and I think he enjoys the sparring, as we have very different political views. In any case it’s awkward having these sorts of conversations in an open office. How can I stem the tide?

– E.S., Edinburgh

A. Try changing the nature of your debate from PMQs to long-form interview.