Q. A close friend has married, in later life, a very nosy and mischievous man. She adores him and keeps boasting about what a computer wizard he is. Unfortunately, I have sound reason to believe he has been hacking into my emails and reading them. It was pretty smart of him to work out my password but this he undoubtedly has done. I have nothing to hide but I resent the invasion of my privacy. I don’t want to embarrass my friend by confronting her husband directly. As my own husband says, ‘what grown man in his right mind would bother to hack into a Sloane Ranger’s email account?’ How can I let this man know that we know what he has been doing?
— Name and address withheld.
A. Let’s pretend the man’s name is John Smith. Change your password. If he is the sort of computer nerd you suggest, it will give him a short, sharp shock when he works out that your new password is ‘stopsnoopingjohnsmith’.
Q. I was invited to dinner by a very nice couple who live in quite a grand house. Before dinner about 30 of us were having drinks in their hall. Suddenly one of the other guests signalled to me and asked if I would get him a glass of champagne. In no way was he trying to be offensive. It was clear that he had just taken one look at me and assumed I must be a waitress. I am sure you will understand why I found this demoralising, Mary. As it was I went and hid in another part of the room and had to avoid him after dinner. How could I have put him straight without seeming chippy?
— F.A., Sittingbourne
A. You might have added levity by teasing him. ‘I’m afraid I’m on my break, sir. Health and safety. But I’ll get you one in ten minutes if you’d care to wait.’ You could have then stood beside him grinning. This would have broken the ice in preparation for your introduction.
Q. My husband and I are great Manchester United fans and live two minutes from the ground. We have a huge conservatory and always invite friends to lunch in it before the matches. When my son’s geography teacher told me he goes to every match with his own three sons, I invited them to lunch as well. For some reason they assumed it was a standing invitation, and they always turn up. You can see our conservatory from the road so I cannot deny them entry. How should I deal with this situation? It is giving my son, aged 11, nightmares.
— J.N., Manchester.
A. Next time they come, tell them you are thrilled as some other fans are ‘hiring the lunch space’ for the rest of the season. You will be doing the cooking so it should be a nice little earner. Wear aprons for the next few weeks so you will look the part if the teacher peeps through your windows.
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