Q. In the summer I became engaged to a sweet young thing. We did not wish to announce our good fortune in the newspapers and have not yet set a date for our wedding. As Christmas draws nearer we are wondering to what extent we should combine our cards. Many of my friends are scattered around the world and may not meet my fiancée in the foreseeable future (although most of them — and those of my fiancée — know of my good fortune) and we wonder if it might be appropriate to send cards signed by us both, presumably with an explanation for those unlikely to be in the know. What do you think, Mary?
Name withheld, London
A. It is tempting to fall into the trap of Payloaditis when sending out Christmas cards, but the cards should not serve as Trojan horses to signal the presence in your life of someone whom the recipients have not met and whose good wishes they do not expect to receive.
Q. As the principal of a school, I occasionally have to travel abroad. During a visit to a school in south China I was generously entertained and called upon to eat some awful stuff by my kind hosts. Remembering my grandmother’s advice, I did all of this without complaint and was cheerfully grateful even when confronted with chicken feet and jellyfish. Imagine my concern when the Chinese returned the visit recently and sent instructions before they dined with me in my own home that they wanted nothing but lightly steamed vegetables and rice. I decided to ignore this commission and served our standard ‘foreign visitors’ dinner. Was this sufficient punishment for trying to boss me about in my own home?
P.B.,
Comments
Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months
Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.
UNLOCK ACCESS Just $5 for 3 monthsAlready a subscriber? Log in