Q. A close friend is attractive and clever, but does not have a boyfriend and would be far too shy to try internet or speed dating. She lives, platonically, in London with a man who works with her but he does not have a wide circle of friends and has been no good at introducing her to anyone. There is no one suitable in her office. She cannot face looking desperate at a singles dinner party. What should she do, Mary? She is 32.
— T.T., York
A. It may seem 30 years too early for your friend to learn bridge, but with this skill under her belt, all sorts of doors will open with the minimum of pushing. Once inside, she will find a surprising number of people of her own age who have become bored by the zombie company of drinking and drug-taking contemporaries. With no discrimination on grounds of class, age, looks, money or milieu, a self-filtering elite based on brain power is taking shape. Bridge schools, bridge clubs and bridge parties are the perfect way to get to know people of compatible intelligence and sensibilities. She should rope in her lodger to learn as well. They will find all sorts of access is enabled.
Q. In our local Waitrose at about 5.30 p.m., I ran into a writer who lives in the street I have moved into and who, as a fan of her writing, I would like to know better. She is my age and, on the three occasions we have met, she has been friendly and fun. She normally looks very cool but on this occasion I could see a line a few centimetres long of grey hair at the roots of the auburn hair I had thought natural. She told me she was rushing home and then out to a book awards party. If it were me, I would want to be told, whether by a new neighbour or not, that my grey roots were showing, especially if I were heading for an event at which I might be photographed. But it would have been too late for her to go to a hairdresser that day so I said nothing. What could I have done, Mary?
— Name and address withheld
A. Keeping your eyes off her hairline and holding a hand self-consciously over your own, you could have helped her by pretending to be on the search for a temporary highlight solution. ‘Do you know if Waitrose sells make-up?’ you could have asked. ‘I need waterproof mascara to cover up my roots for a few days.’ Prattling on about this technique would have prompted her to consider the status of her own hairline. At the same time you would have been conveying the solution for an easy touch-up.
Q. Is it now acceptable to send invitations by email? I am rather shocked to have received three — and to quite smart events.
— A.J., London W11
A. For non-grand events, such invitations are acceptable if they are art-directed and look like scans of real invitations. Where funds are being raised for charity it makes sense to save on postage and printing. Where they are not, they are useful for air-heads, flake-heads and commitment-phobes to be able to access electronically. In their favour is the fact that, since they cannot be displayed, they also spare the feelings of those who have not been invited.
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