Dear Mary: How do I exit a WhatsApp group without causing offence?

Q. I remember a time when one could be confident of reaching all one’s circle through an announcement in the personal columns of the Times – for example to say that one was not sending out Christmas cards but instead would be making a donation to charity. Or, indeed, where one would be spending one’s honeymoon. My problem is that I have got terribly behind with answering emails and,  with more pouring in each day, I am beside myself. Would it be acceptable to email my entire address book with a generic apology for not having answered an email they may or may not have sent, and explaining how overwhelmed I am? –  O.W., London SW6

A. This sort of impersonal and egocentric announcement would cause resentment. Imagine if you received one yourself. Instead, pay a pop-up secretary to come in (or pose as one yourself) and email every person in your address book separately – using the ‘bcc’ option with the message: ‘I am currently assisting O.W. due to problems she is experiencing with her computer. She apologises if you have emailed her and received no response. If this is the case, and your message is still relevant, would you be kind enough to send it again?’

Q. By bad luck I am involved in two simultaneous WhatsApp groups, both currently obsessing about food – a subject I am not that interested in. One very hospitable hostess has made the fatal mistake of kindly asking every guest in the group what they want to eat. Result: endless pinging about vegetarianism and food emojis. Now a new WhatsApp group has started –another birthday celebration – and there are endless messages about what foodstuff each guest will bring. How do I detach from these groups without causing offence? The constant messaging about food is almost making me bulimic. What makes it worse is I am not able to attend either party. But I am keen to know who the other guests are, or I would just mute the alerts.

– E.S., Sussex

A. This is cakeism. You cannot enjoy the social observation without putting up with the food phobias. Why not mute the groups until the parties are over and then scroll through the alerts to see what you missed?

Q. Your correspondent J.O.H. on 5 April objects to always being asked what height he is at parties. I am also 6ft 5in and when asked I respond, adding with a wry smile: ‘And apparently in proportion.’ This always provokes embarrassment and I then steer the conversation on to more mundane matters.

– J.W., London SW6

A. What a good response – which today, of course, to avoid charges of harassment, could only be safely made in ‘speakeasy’ environments.