Dear Mary: how do I stop my wife from sleeping naked?

Q. Wealthy ex-pat friends came to stay and, despite being attended to assiduously by our major domo, they left without leaving him a tip. I concealed their faux pas by palming him €50 and pretending that they had given it to me to give to him. But I am annoyed at their lack of consideration, which I suspect is due to ignorance rather than forgetfulness. How do I inform them that it is customary for guests to leave a tip for their host’s staff?

– Name and address withheld

A. Not only may these people be unfamiliar with the convention of tipping, they may also need to be alerted to carry cash for the purpose. Prior to their next visit, raise their consciousness by drawling: ‘Incidentally, we have a new system here so, if you want to bring some cash to leave for the staff, do give it directly to me, and I will dole it out.’ This opens the door for them to enquire how much would be appropriate. They will welcome your guidance.

Q. I had some people over to our house for dinner. Our kitchen is separate from the sitting room so I have to keep popping between the two when we’re having drinks as I need to cook and also help my husband with the chatting. On this occasion, I had put some vegetables on to boil and went to check on everyone. On my way back into the kitchen, a guest grabbed me to tell me how her mother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and only had a few weeks to live. I could hear the kitchen timer beeping but I didn’t feel I could say ‘I’ve got to check on the beans’ while she was in the middle of this news. So I listened on but had to throw them away and serve salad instead.