Dear Mary: How do I stop people telling me about their holidays?

Q. American clients emailed saying they were coming to Europe this spring and inviting us and another couple on a fantastic-sounding boat trip in the eastern Mediterranean which we rather shamelessly accepted. Last week I got a further email saying, as the holiday was approaching, it was time to sort out the financial side of things, ending up with some terrifying figures that we would owe them. Looking back at the email chain, I found an attachment to the original invitation, which we hadn’t opened, showing a breakdown of the costs as shared between the three couples. There is no way we can afford it but, for professional reasons, cannot confess this. Help!

– Name and address withheld

A. Break the news that, maddeningly, you will have to withdraw. You have been unable to get any sense from the Passport Office, where your passports have been languishing in the queue for renewal. Furthermore the office is about to embark on a lengthy strike.

Q. Since my wife, who was a superb conversationalist, died last year, I have been several times confronted at dinner parties by people who kindly ask me about my holidays, then, after I have told them that what I do is sufficiently life-enhancing to make holidays not very appealing, they immediately launch into an account of their own. Without upsetting them, is there a conversational gambit for this, or should I just get new friends? In my case that is more easily said than done, since I am known for taking the view that unless you are opposing the world’s wrongs by writing to your MP etc then you are condoning them. Not everyone finds this appealing, so my wife used to divert their attention.