Q. I am a self-employed travel specialist, concentrating on holidays in Asia. Friends (and even friends of friends) plague me asking for tips on flights and itineraries. Then they go online and book direct instead of through me. Sometimes I have spent hours putting the holiday together for them. How can I politely say ‘no’ to people seeking such one-way favours?
— M.B., London SW11
A. Clearly the petitioners do not realise that they will pay the same for the reservation either way, but that if you make it for them you will be rewarded with a small commission from the airline or hotel. Gush to the next enquirer: ‘I’d love to help and I’ve got loads to tell you but my new insurer – something to do with data protection which I don’t understand – won’t allow me to advise people unless I’m going to actually make the booking for them. But the good news is that, if you decide to go ahead with a booking, it won’t cost you any extra at all if I make it for you.’
Q. I like having people to stay, but I also like going to bed early. Is it acceptable to leave them downstairs with my husband and go up for a bath and bed shortly after dinner is over?
— S.H., Woodborough, Wilts
A. Emphasise to your guests when you issue the invitation that you are longing to see them but – although you are physically fine as far as you know – you have started to need to go to bed early. They, meanwhile, are welcome to party until dawn in your absence. As long as you have clarified the situation in advance they will not be offended – they may even be relieved, if you have been tense, to see you ‘turning in’.
Q. I live on a picturesque mews street in Notting Hill and suffer the misfortune of occupying the ground floor in one of those brightly coloured houses that tourists seem to find inexplicably exciting. Every day roughly 18 separate gaggles of them assemble eagerly outside my front door to take photos. I once lost my rag and burst out, to the consternation of a group of Spanish tourists mid-pose, shouting: ‘Just what exactly is so interesting about my house?’ I felt guilty when I realised that I am often a tourist myself – and a madwoman bursting out of a house I was interested in would rather tarnish my experience. How can I disperse sightseers more diplomatically?
— W.F., London W11
A. Keep a spray bottle of Windowlene and a J cloth near the front door. Every time you hear commotion outside, simply step out and start cleaning your windows unconcernedly. This necessitates zero interaction and should move them on quickly.
Write to Dear Mary at dearmary@spectator.co.uk
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