Q. I am having a drinks party to celebrate the publication of my latest book. I sent out invitations (to mainly long-standing friends) by email. The invitation PDF clearly signals an informal party. Half of the respondents asked their secretaries to send formal replies, which is fair enough, although self-important. But a few secretaries sent pompous replies from the personal email accounts of their bosses. So I sent emails back and discovered the secretaries have taken control of their bosses’ accounts from within. This is unnerving. Mary, what do you say?
— R.J., London W11
A. It’s the impersonality which causes the subtle offence. People with secretaries and PAs should tread carefully when a social, rather than a professional, RSVP is called for.
Q. Regarding the mother-in-law and her habit of putting a newspaper on a chair seat before sitting down (Dear Mary, 25 January) I wondered: is she elderly and Roman Catholic? I’m 83 and CofE but at Catholic school, when we were about 12, we were told that if a gentleman gave up his seat, and had been sitting there a long time, we should put a paper there to save us from impure thoughts.
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