Q. I volunteer for a charity one morning a week. This happens on one of the mornings when my cleaner comes. I have a feeling that as soon as I have gone out she knocks off early, knowing I won’t be back, although she still has another 45 minutes to go. I cannot put my finger on why I think this; it is just instinct. She is generally reliable but I think this is a temptation too great for her to resist. As I pay her £12 an hour, I find it annoying. What can I do, Mary?
—J.F., London SW12
A. Why not get into the habit of loading the oven with a cake just before you go out? This will give you licence to ask her to take it out of the oven just before she leaves.
Q. The other day I was treated to a fantastic lunch by a restaurant-owning friend. There were quite a few of us in the restaurant, celebrating a birthday, and everything was excellent; however, I simply could not finish the steak I had ordered. I knew my dog would love this leftover, but quite frankly, I was thinking more of living off it myself for a couple of days. Under normal circumstances I would have had no compunction about asking the waiter to ‘box it up’ for me, but drawing this sort of attention to uneaten food felt somehow wrong in the context I was in, i.e. as the guest of the person who had essentially produced the food. I could not wrap it in my napkin, as this was a luxurious linen affair about one foot square. I had to watch the steak being whipped away by the waiter. What should I do if such a situation comes up again?
—G.D., New York
A. You could have discreetly asked a waiter for a couple of blank sheets of paper. No need to explain why you wanted them. With one sheet on your lap it would have been possible to fork the chunks onto it discreetly instead of into your mouth. You would then have used the second sheet to bundle the offcuts into a secure package.
Q. We are moving from our present address to another one 20 minutes away. We have a new, excellent cleaner lined up, so we want to dispense of our present one as pleasantly as possible. Poverty won’t wash as a reason: she is mad enough to offer to do the job for nothing; one never knows. She is volatile, moody and doesn’t realise that the liberal use of bleach on carpet stains, etc is very damaging and expensive. But, in that dreadful phrase, ‘she means well’. What is a kind way of solving our dilemma?
—B.W., Pewsey, Wiltshire
A. Organise a lavish leaving tea party for your daily. When she challenges this, explain that part of the deal of buying the new house was that you had to agree to take on the incumbent cleaner and you would not want to offend.
Write to: Dear Mary, The Spectator, 22 Old Queen Street, London SW1H 9HP
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