Ben Schott

Diary – 3 January 2019

You’ll be relieved to learn my penguin is back. ‘How long was it gone?’ you ask. About six months. ‘And sorry, it’s a real penguin?’ Actually, no. Here’s the story: back in 2005, I was staying at the 60 Thompson Street Hotel in Manhattan. On my first afternoon in town I went for a stroll along Bleecker Street and popped into a shop called Leo Design where I spotted and purchased a charming bronze penguin — three inches high, and ounces heavy. Back in my room I placed Mr Penguin among my coins and keys, and thought little of him. The next afternoon, after housekeeping had visited, I spotted Mr Penguin on top of the television. Odd, I thought, moving him to the window-sill. Over the next week, housekeeping and I engaged in an anonymous battle of whimsy, moving Mr Penguin around the room twice a day. On returning to London I told my cleaner of this game, and we played it on a weekly basis for several years until she hid Mr Penguin under my bed and we both forgot about him for many months. Anyway, I lost him again for a longish spell, and had to lure him back to my mantelpiece with a shoal of miniature bronze fish.

I’ve recently returned from a week’s language school in Italy, and am able to report that the best penne all’Amatriciana is to be found in the staff canteen of the Verona Carabinieri. For obvious reasons this is a tricky reservation to score and my entrée (in both senses) was secured by a Carabiniere called Franco who — as the husband of my wife’s cousin — is now my honorary Italian brother. Franco picked me up after school one Wednesday and Vespa’d me at speed to the military barracks just south of the old city.

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