Recently, telling myself I must cure my allergy to the banal language employed by the Church of England these days, I went to a service in a local Norman church. The visiting preacher was a grey-haired woman. Her soporiferous sermon induced instant lethargy until she gave a sudden shriek. ‘…and God went WOW!’ she shouted, and repeated this dubious claim twice. Incomprehension skittered among the congregation of six elderly ladies. I suppose the preacher believed that, if she used contemporary colloquial language, the picture she was trying to conjure of a recognisable God would be easier for us to imagine than if she used the language of the King James Bible. Her mistake was not to have checked out the general age of her listeners. They knew ‘Wow!’ had never come into the Bible. It was not a convincing picture of the Almighty. No wonder they looked affronted.
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This week eight requests for money for charity came through the post. Most weeks it’s four or five. Like thousands of others, I’m faced with a dilemma. Should I send a few pounds to all of them, or a larger sum to my chosen few? I’ve become quite fierce in my decisions. Those who send me a long case history, in pretend handwriting, get nothing. Nor do those who send plastic biros, or a 1p coin sellotaped to their request. It must cost precious funds buying useless biros, and what a waste of time gathering and sticking coins. And now there is a new lot who are off my cheque list: those to whom I have already sent a contribution, who then follow it up within the week asking for more. My own list remains unchanging: The Q Trust, CPRE, the Woodland Trust, the British Legion. That leaves room for a few extra seasonal ones.
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