Diary – 17 September 2015

With four days to go until the result of Labour’s leadership election, a call from the Sunday Times. Would I like to write a piece, along the lines of the opening chapter of my 1980s novel A Very British Coup, about the first 100 days of a Corbyn government? Anything up to 3,000 words, he says. I am sceptical that the sense of humour of the censors at Murdoch HQ will stretch to the prospect of a Corbyn government, however fanciful. Especially since any such government is likely to be interested in breaking up the concentration of media ownership. What they are really looking for, I suspect, is tale of chaos, mayhem and a breakdown of the social order. Nevertheless he is bursting with enthusiasm. After nailing down terms I decide to give it a go. I tap out the first 700 words and send it over to check that we are on the same wavelength. The response is encouraging, ‘Thank you for a rip-roaring start to the Corbyn 2020 victory. It’s great fun and made me laugh.’ I duly knock out the remaining 2,000 words. Erring on the side of caution I avoid any reference to Murdoch, but I cannot resist including a Media Diversity Bill in the first Queen’s Speech and the appointment of Tom Watson as Culture Secretary and Vince Cable as director-general of Ofcom.

My piece is dispatched. No response. After 24 hours I email a request for an acknowledgement. Back comes a single word: ‘Thanks.’ Two more days pass. Then, on Saturday afternoon, comes the following: ‘I am afraid we are not going to be able to run your Corbyn landslide piece…sorry.’ Next day’s Sunday Times headline reads ‘Corbyn sparks Labour civil war.’ They are nothing if not predictable.