Back in July 2009, at my baby shower, someone kindly gave me a little book on the benefits of having twins. Apart from the swollen ankles and the enormous bump I was carrying, I already felt pretty blessed that, at 35, I was only going to have to do the whole pregnancy thing once. I like efficiency and this route to procreation was right up my street – not to mention the fact that I only had to give up cigarettes, Brie de Meaux, gin and chardonnay for a single period of nine months. But I hoped there would be some other benefits as I was starting to realise that, with two newborns to prepare for and no hand-me-downs coming our way, twins came with challenges of their own.
I quickly scanned through the book; it was very short. Three things stood out. The first was that they’d share a birthday – and therefore, a party. Again, I loved the efficiency – one day of disruption, one expensive entertainer, one set of jam sandwiches (two cakes – I’m not that mean). So when, a week later at Kingston hospital, Twin 1, a healthy baby girl of 6lb 12oz, arrived at 11.40 p.m. and the nurse reminded me that if I didn’t push hard, Twin 2 might have a different birthday, I have never been more focused on a job at hand. Four minutes later, Twin 2, another healthy girl of 6lb 15oz, was born.
The second thing that really appealed to me was establishing one routine and getting all of the sleepless nights out of the way in one go. My husband I were no spring chickens, and our clubbing days were very much a thing of the past – we really liked our sleep.
The third benefit that resonated strongly with me was that they’d always have each other – from being top-to-toe in the Moses basket and garbling nonsense to each in their car seats, to walking through the playground on the first day of ‘big school’.
What the book made no mention of, however, was that one day, they’d revise for exams together too. This summer they have sat their GCSEs, and for the past 18 months they’ve revised diligently and patiently together, even for the subjects they didn’t share. Never once did I have to watch a trigonometry video or read a flash card with either Imogen or Lola; this, I am sure, must be every parent’s dream.
They haven’t always got on this well; in fact, there have been times when they would definitely not have supported each other in this way. They have always been very different – different interests, skills, friendship groups – and aged five or six they declared that one was ‘sporty’ and the other ‘musical and drama-y’. I’m convinced this was to prevent unnecessary competitiveness. Non-identical twins often set out to differentiate themselves at a very early age and, sensibly, most schools separate them into different classes as soon as possible; for us this happened at age seven and was absolutely the right choice.
They have always been very different – different interests, skills, friendship groups
But if anything, their GCSEs have brought them closer together. I’m so proud of how supportive they’ve been, never once coming out of an exam boasting that it went well until they’d got an inkling from the other of how it had gone for them. While there is still of course the standard sibling rivalry and bickering, what could have been an extremely tense time in our household was actually a breeze for my husband and me.
Sadly, I fear this won’t last. Next year they will go down very different A-level routes – one has chosen all the sciences, wanting to become a vet, and the other is following the humanities path with the goal of studying English literature at university. And in the meantime, we have the double agony of waiting for two sets of exam results to arrive tomorrow.
So far for me, this summer has been filled with last-minute dashes to the supermarket for copious cans of cider, lots late night pick-ups from separate parties, and a fair bit of sick down the side of the car. But tomorrow morning we will make one trip, to one school, to pick up two sets of GCSE results – and let’s hope both of them find what they want inside those envelopes.
Chloë Ferrari runs The Spectator Club, including all our wine events. Book here to join her and drinks editor Jonathan Ray at an event soon (and hear how the twins got on in their GCSEs).
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