I hate drivers. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate all of them, just a considerably larger proportion than I hate of the population as a whole.
And, like most cyclists, I drive myself, having been bullied into it by my then girlfriend who bought me lessons for my 27th birthday. But generally speaking I feel the same way about them as Rod Liddle feels about cyclists. Although I agree with Rod on almost all things, it would be weird and awkward if I agreed with him on everything, and this is the slither outside the bubble on the Venn diagram.
I don’t object to his characterisation of cyclists as angry, self-righteous ninnies, because I’m not opposed to generalisations as they’re quite necessary. For example, I would say about 5 per cent of drivers are reckless and dangerous, but that rises to about 40 per cent of white van men and a fifth of minicab drivers, which is a useful stereotype to have when you’re trying to avoid getting killed. (Obviously any lorry with a Polish or Lithuanian registration should be avoided.)
So I’m not saying all white van drivers are criminally careless sociopaths, just a hugely disproportionate number. Likewise with black cab drivers, some of whom do occasionally indicate when the mood takes them!
I admit that cyclists sometimes come across as sanctimonious or angry, but a lot of that comes from constantly feeling endangered and occasionally being shouted at. These are the root causes of our anger.
Driving a car is great fun, in places like Montana, but there is absolutely no reason to make non-essential car journeys in big cities like London. They just aren’t designed for four wheels any more than small shops are designed for mobility scooters; sure we can handle one or two, but cars are basically special needs vehicles in London. Big cities can only operate through public transport, which in our case is hugely overcrowded, and two-wheeled vehicles.
No one has actually enjoyed driving in London since about 1957; that’s why drivers are always fighting each other, something other road users don’t do. Soon after passing my test I took my first jaunt through London town, down Piccadilly, where it took me an hour and a half to move about 100 yards. By the road stood a crazy old homeless man with a white beard, who was shouting ‘you’re all mad’ at the drivers — and he was right!
Sure, cyclists ignore lots of rules, but that’s because the police make no effort to enforce road laws, just as they traditionally treat stolen bikes as lost property. There’s no reason why this should be.
One thing I would agree with the cycle-haters on: cyclists listening to headphones should definitely have an ear cut off as punishment, or both ears if they look like a hipster.
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