Even Adrian Lester’s sweetness, grace and nobility can’t rescue Almeida’s Hymn

The Almeida is fighting back against lockdown with a sprawling family drama about two long-lost siblings. Adrian Lester plays Gilbert Jones, a successful entrepreneur, who runs a clothing business and a stationery shop in London. At his dad’s funeral he meets his half-brother, Benny (Danny Sapani), who was brought up in care but is now married with kids. The two bros become pals. They meet for salads at coffee shops where they swap news about each other’s families. They visit the gym and do stretching exercises while discussing their diets and their problems finding spaces to park. Benny, who appears to be a fitness coach, takes charge of these low-energy workouts. He holds up a scarlet cushion and Gilbert punches it feebly. To encourage more vigour, Benny tells Gilbert to imagine that he’s smashing an annoying female driver in the face. Gilbert punches harder.

The chaps are getting on so well that they buy tickets for a vintage disco. They go to Benny’s house to prepare and Gilbert finds a box of old vinyl discs. ‘Oh my God,’ he shrieks. ‘Records! We can get ready to music.’ Benny pulls out a dressing-up box and they try on spangly 1980s outfits while dancing around and singing rap songs and hits by Prince. Gilbert finds a pink plastic microphone to aid his performance. Benny has one as well. The audience may wonder how Benny, aged 51, came to own two pink plastic microphones. The mystery remains unsolved.

Their friendship deepens when Gilbert invites Benny to join him in a new business venture: Jones and Jones. His plan is to merge his existing shops and to start selling office supplies alongside luxury businesswear. The two ranges will have the same stylistic features.