New year, new Labour. Sir Keir deployed his latest strategy at PMQS, contrasting the Tory-run NHS with the glorious record of the Labour administration. When his party were in power, he argued, the NHS was such a triumph that hardly anyone used it. There was no need. Doctors’ appointments were available within days. Cancer referrals took no more than two weeks. Waiting lists were a fraction of their current levels, he went on, (although he quietly admitted that 2.3 million people were usually awaiting treatment when Labour ran the system). Again and again he cited his party’s golden age. Labour, Labour, Labour. Marvellous, outstanding, world class.
Sir Keir’s lurch to the right is dangerous because it may goad the dormant Corbynistas into action. The hard left caucus are already dismayed by their leader’s bizarre strategy of appealing to the electorate. And if Sir Keir provokes them further they may mount an insurgency that will split the Labour vote and hand election victory to Rishi. Which the Corbynistas would love. The far left relish a Tory win because it proves that the Labour manifesto wasn’t barmy enough.
It seems that Boris has been making money. Lots of money. Far too much for the Scottish Nationalists
The backbenches were in full cry today. Many MPs were following a trusted long-term strategy. You pick a crisis. You bang on about it week after week. You scare off any rival attempting to muscle in on your territory. And you continue to monetise public suffering until you end up in the House of Lords with a reputation as an ‘expert’.
Marsha De Cordova claims to have found an Ophthalmology Crisis which can be solved with another Private Members Bill and a ‘national eye health strategy.’ Rishi Sunak checked his notes and replied that £100 million has already been spent on research into this field. A hundred million quid investigating spectacles? It seemed a bit steep. Either that was a misprint or he needs an eye-test.
Simon Lightwood got the 2023 Tooth Crisis off to a good start by asking us to peer inside the decaying mouth of a six-year-old constituent. The little girl has never visited the dentist and her jaws are disfigured by ten broken fangs all blackened with rot. Rishi expressed sympathy with the poor little mite and announced that he would ‘be happy’ to look into her mouth personally.
The SNP’s Stephen Flynn has discovered a Tory Earning Crisis in the bank account of the last PM-but-one. It seems that Boris has been making money. Lots of money. Far too much for the Scottish Nationalists, who dislike any pot of cash that they can’t spend on their own doomed schemes. Flynn hectored Rishi about Boris’s desire to ‘feather his nest’ – as if making a living were a crime against humanity. He looked like he was auditioning for the role of Miserly Presbyterian Sourpuss in a pantomime. Great performance. Give him the part.
Alex Davies-Jones launched a brand new cause by declaring an ‘Andrew Tate Emergency.’ The posturing sports-car collector, she said, is causing young boys to be ‘radicalised… and brain-washed online with his deeply toxic messaging.’ Her solution is to hand over vast wads of cash to teachers straight away. Not that this will improve matters in the classroom. But it will give teachers a chance to avoid the classroom altogether, which is the holy grail of their profession. Any funds pledged to fight the Andrew Tate Effect will be spent on strategy meetings, lectures in lovely comfy conference halls, and training awaydays in plush hotels by the sea. Sounds nice.
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