Gordon’s Apology?

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This item from Martin Bright (Welcome, Comrade!) risks leaving one speechless:

Now word reaches The Bright Stuff that the man who has never knowingly apologised for anything is preparing his very own “mea culpa”. I am told that Whitehall officials have been ordered to make a compilation DVD of Obama’s various apologies to the American TV networks to be studied by the Prime Minister. The idea of Gordon Brown practising a humble self-deprecating manner in front of the mirror based on what he has seen on his training DVD doesn’t bear thinking about. But then again… maybe it does.

So… Picture the scene deep inside the Downing Street bunker as the Prime Minister, advised, it seems, by Rory Bremner and Armando Iannucci, addresses a fretful nation...

“Fellow Britons, it is with great regret that it seems it is necessary that, in such tumultuous times, I must appear on television tonight.