I was once asked by a previous editor of the Times how to increase sales of the paper. I was slightly more circumspect, but the thrust of my argument was: ‘Don’t bother with all that news and opinion malarkey — just teach more people how to solve cryptic crosswords.’
My argument was simple. There are now 40,000 different places where I can obtain global news and metropolitan opinion, but there is only one Times cryptic crossword. ‘Play your cards right.’ I suggested, ‘and you can be the Bernie Ecclestone of cruciverbalism.’ Revive crossword-solving as a craze; create apps whereby two people can co-operate remotely on a single grid; run live competitions. Buy your best crossword setters Bentleys and make them celebrities… stage fights between them outside fashionable nightclubs, that kind of thing.
I think everyone who has discovered cryptic crosswords views their newspaper in this way already — a daily crossword surrounded by superfluous text to glance at when you’re stuck on 23 across. Moreover, a crossword guarantees a reader 30 minutes of pleasure from purchasing a newspaper. In terms of the fashionable metric CpEH, or ‘cost per entertainment hour’, the crosswords and puzzles section delivers inordinately more value to the reader than the surrounding pabulum. The only problem is not enough people know this.
My grandmother taught me how to do crosswords. Back in the 1970s it was very difficult to teach yourself — not least because you had to wait a day for the solution to be published, and this came with no explanation. Now it is better. You can Google the clue, if you are desperate.
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