High life | 13 December 2018

Here we are, 41 years down the road, and I’m once again writing for The Spectator’s Christmas issue. This is a triple one, so I want to make it count. In my sporting days, trying too hard was as counterproductive as not trying hard enough, so let’s see if this principle also applies to the written word.

Eighty-five thousand Yemeni children may have died of hunger, and 10,000 men, women and children have been killed, most of them by indiscriminate and disproportionate air strikes targeting civilians, and that murderous megalomaniac Mohammed bin Salman and his Gulf allies are responsible. Just think of the enormity of the crime: 85,000 under-fives starved to death in the cruellest way possible by those overfed criminals in Riyadh. Then picture George W. Bush, Donald Trump, Jared Kushner and Prince Charles smiling, laughing and breaking bread with such men.

And then switch your attention to Manchester, and Manchester City. Owned by Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan, who has a bottomless well of wealth at his disposal as the son of the absolute ruler of the Gulf state Abu Dhabi, the club is lording it over the opposition, having collected every star available. Although fairness on the pitch is not the owner’s strong point, behind the scenes it’s even worse: ever since the Gulf camel-drivers took over, the club has worked tirelessly to get around Uefa’s financial fair play regulations. (Inflated sponsorship deals masking covert cash injections from down south — you name it, they’ve pulled it.)

I could have told anyone who would listen that the moment Gulf or Saudi money is involved, rules no longer apply. These people do not play and intend never to play by the rules, because they know that our best and brightest will genuflect and spread their cheeks for them and then say thank you.