High life | 29 June 2017

A major Greek ship owner, whose political knowledge matches his wealth and business acumen, explained to me what the Qatar brouhaha is all about. My friend Peter had the foresight to invest in liquefied natural gas (LNG) carriers, among the most expensive of ships to build but big-time money-makers. Why is it that it takes a major ship owner to tell us what’s really going on? Forget the bull put out by American hacks, whose minds no longer seem to function — at least since Trump’s triumph last November.

Here goes: we sat on my terrace in Gstaad under the stars, watched the mountains turn from grey to dark blue, drank some good red wine, and I got the scoop. The first to ring the Donald after the election was the ruler of Saudi Arabia. (This column will dispense with obsequious titles, because the camel-drivers created them and awarded them to themselves 85 years ago.) Trump was blunt with the Saudi ruler. ‘I’ll help you with Iran only if you help me sell American LNG and oil to China, and there’s only one way to do that.’ ‘Which is?’ asked the ruler. ‘Stop Qatar from selling their LNG to the Chinese — and while you’re at it, both of you stop funding terrorists, or else.’

Not bad for a so-called blundering fool of a president. This is exactly what happened. The Saudis, who had had it up to here with the crummy Qataris playing everyone, gave them the ultimatum and now you know about as much as the powers involved do. The Qataris will obviously give in — they’re not exactly known as fighters, except when beating up defenceless women or foreign workers — and the Saudis, who tremble at the sight of an Iranian, will declare a Marathon-like victory.