‘My name is Love,’ typed the help assistant, ‘and I’m a member of the Airbnb community support team.’
I was using one of those chat boxes, where someone from the company you’re grappling with, embodied in a flashing cursor, interacts with you in print on a live chat screen.
I am kind and polite, I thought. No one has ever really given me credit for that before
Now, I’m a big fan of the chat box. The chat box works when all other forms of customer service fail. Chances are you will get much better service if you stop expecting companies to speak to you on the phone, and start letting them do what they do best, which is to solve your issue without speaking to you, because speaking to you is where all the problems start, let’s face it.
I like the Airbnb chat box almost more than any other, because they have a particularly stringent policy that they must resolve your issue, no matter how difficult it is.
This means their operatives will come over all harakiri if they can’t resolve your issue. There is a danger of telling them your issue is resolved even if it isn’t, just to make it stop. But if you do let them carry on deluging you in compliments and apologies, all given in slightly strangled syntax while they’re tapping away like mad at their end, they will resolve your issue.
I had been trying to list our new B&B rooms at our house in West Cork and the too-clever software had me accepting suggestions I didn’t mean to, so I ended up with a listing that referred to a town an hour’s drive away, which I couldn’t seem to amend. I typed my issue into the help chat box and up popped Love.
She or he – I don’t want to assume anything – was so polite that I was not convinced Love was real, which is a sad indictment of our world today.
‘Hi Melissa, my name is Love… I understand you’re seeking assistance and I will be helping you with this case. Please allow me a moment to review your case and provide you with the necessary information.’
When I didn’t say anything, Love said: ‘Thank you for reaching to us Melissa. How’s your day so far? I hope you’re doing well today.’
I said I was fine, and as we went back and forth sorting the place-name of my listing, Love said: ‘By the way while I am reviewing your account, I can’t help and to [sic] scroll also on your listing, just want to let you know that you have the most cozy [sic] and clean looking listing. This gives me peace and I can assure that your Guest feels the same way too. Looking forward to be hosted by you and experience your listing soon.’
Yes, my listing is cosy, I thought. And I did want to give Love peace. Was Love going to book my place and actually turn up here? It wasn’t clear, but in any case I indicated that I was very happy Love was happy, and so on. ‘Perfect. To make sure that I got you covered, would there be anything else that I can do here to be of help while I got you here with me, and make your experience superb today?’
Gosh, that did sound tempting. I started to feel like maybe I could tell Love anything, and confide some deeply personal matter. ‘Love, the builder boyfriend is really annoying me because he won’t move the hard top for his pick-up truck out of the stable yard. He takes it off so he can load wood into the back and then instead of putting it in the barn, he leaves it out, and it looks a right mess…’
With no one else for miles around as I sat at my desk in my ‘West Cork hideaway’, as it was now listed, I started to feel like Love and I really had a future. I decided to say: ‘I’m fine, thank you very much for all your help.’
Love replied: ‘Nothing to worry about I am so honered [sic] to assist a very kind and polite Host like you Melissa.’
I am kind and polite, I thought. No one has ever really given me credit for that before. Love gets me, I thought, as the chat box closed. I filled out the feedback form, which took ages, just to please Love.
Some minutes after that, I received an email. It was from Love! ‘It was my pleasure assisting you today Melissa, I really enjoyed chatting with you and I wish you nothing but the best experiences with Airbnb. We appreciate you sharing your experience with our service, and I do hope I assisted you in the best possible way I could.’
You did, Love, you did. ‘If you don’t have any further questions or concerns at this moment, you may click “No, I’m Done” on the automated help system.’
Oh, so this is how it ends, is it? It felt so final. Suddenly it occurred to me that Love had someone else’s issue to resolve. Or maybe… Love had started resolving someone else’s issue already? No, Love would not do that to me. I clicked the ‘I’m Done’ box. Perhaps I will find Love again someday.
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