How many crooks are in the Commons?

As politicians complain about a Britain in decline, perhaps they should look closer to home. Mr S can reveal that, over the last five years, a total of nine Commons staff have been probed for criminal activity allegations – and yet fewer than half were dismissed. Talk about falling standards, eh?

A Freedom of Information request revealed that, since April 2020, nine people employed by either the Commons or the joint departments of parliament have been investigated for criminal offences ‘which would call into question their ability or suitability to work in their current post’. You don’t say! More telling, however, was the admission from parliament’s lower house that while there is a record of how many of these staff were subsequently sacked, the count cannot be divulged owing to it being fewer than five of those probed – which could lead to identification of the individuals in question. If Steerpike’s maths is correct then this would mean that, at most, four individuals were let go – less than 50 per cent of those interrogated over criminal activity claims in the first place. It would appear that the threshold for being kicked out of the Commons is rather low…

For their part, a Commons spokesperson told Steerpike:

Whilst we do not comment on individual staffing matters, it is important to stress that not all criminal investigations result in a conviction or even a charge. Prior to the conclusion of any criminal investigation, the House Administration considers whether action is needed to manage any potential risk to the parliamentary community. We have robust processes in place to ensure the safety and wellbeing of those in Parliament, taking a case-by-case approach to any instance where a member of staff is under criminal investigation. A conviction relating to conduct outside work may be treated as a disciplinary matter if the House considers that it is relevant to the individual’s employment.

In a spell of good news, however, parliament boasted that in the last five years, no House of Commons staff have been investigated or dismissed for not having the legal right to work in the UK. Mr S is glad to see the house has finally tidied up its act – after years of rather concerning revelations. In 2008 it emerged a Brazilian immigrant had been illegally working in the Commons using a fake identity pass. Just two years later, around ten illegal immigrants working as cleaners in the lower house were exposed after it transpired they had managed to get work with KGB cleaners. And, staggeringly, in 2015, yet another illegal migrant was found to have been working in parliament in another security breach. Now if only the Commons can get on top of their criminals, parliament might finally become a safer place to work, eh?