How To Cook A Robin

There’s a story in some of today’s newspapers that evil Cypriots are murdering our robins and eating them. Crucially, for me, it does not say which Cypriots. The Greeks and Turks have the second and third worst cuisines in Europe (the Scotch are at the bottom) and there is not much to choose between them. I have to say I suspect the Greek Cypriots of eating our Robins; it is the sort of thing they would do. I can imagine Archbishop Makarios shoveling songbirds down his gullet, whereas I suspect Rauf Denktash would prefer to stay his stomach with a kebab. These are the sorts of things we should bear in mind whenever the clamour goes up from the Greeks that the Turks are there illegally.

I reckon the stories in the newspapers have been rehashed for Christmas, because in fact it is blackcaps and other warblers which bear the brunt of the colossal Greek appetite, rather than robins. But robins will do just as well, and now is a good time of year to catch these shrill, bad tempered and aggressive creatures. The Cypriot dish is called Ambelopoulia (which sounds more Greek than Turkish to me), and here is my version of it. I think it would make a deliciously festive treat on, say, Boxing Day, when you are sick of turkey. However, you will need to catch your robins on Christmas Day because they must be marinated overnight. Catching them is not too difficult – they are very presumptuous at this time of the year and may approach within grabbing distance. However, best to copy the Cypriots and line a (low lying) tree branch with glue or resin and simply harvest them later. Better still, coat an official RSPB bird feeder with glue or resin. You might find the occasional wren or dunnock in the mix, but no matter, give them to the dog.