How to drink, according to Spectator readers

My column from a fortnight ago seeking advice about how to limit my alcohol intake has produced a huge response – and not just from readers. At a dinner last week to commemorate Paul Johnson, a famous historian told me how he manages to be so prolific while still enjoying several glasses every night. He rises each day at 4.30 a.m., spends six hours at his desk doing serious work, then does an hour of admin, has a nice lunch, followed by an afternoon nap, another couple of hours’ work and finally a good dinner. ‘The key is the afternoon nap,’ he said. ‘It’s a way of turning one day into two.’

Unfortunately for me, this requires a superhuman effort of will, but then so did many of the other suggestions. One reader was quite taken with my proposal to limit myself to 100 bottles of wine in 2024 and proposed I ‘earn’ each unit of alcohol by engaging in vigorous physical exercise.

He pointed out that the average bottle of wine contains about ten units and included the following guide, which he claims to follow religiously: running = 1 unit/mile; walking = 0.5 units/mile; rowing = 1 unit/km; skiing = 2 units/hour; and swimming = 6 units/mile. ‘You could drink your 100 bottles this year, but you’d need to run 1,000 miles,’ he said, adding: ‘I do more than that.’

At least this scheme has the advantage of allowing me to drink my allotted quota, unlike another suggested by a reader I’ll call Stanley. ‘Each week, grant yourself one decent bottle of red wine for every point QPR earn,’ he wrote. ‘As an ardent Rangers supporter this will give you even more skin in the game.’

That’s all very well Stanley, but QPR have only earned 21 points since 5 August, which works out at less than a bottle a week.