How to get rich quick

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Max Jeffery has narrated this article for you to listen to.

Greed is good again. It’s early Saturday morning in a glum and airless back room of a Holiday Inn in London. ‘Raise your hand if you’d like to make some money this morning!’ says Chloë Bisson, ‘#1 Bestselling Author, Multi-Award Winning Entrepreneur, International Speaker’. People go ‘yep’ and ‘uh-huh’ and ‘too right’ and put their hands in the air. Chloë’s colleague Ryan Pinnick comes on stage next. ‘Who’s ready for the formula?’ he asks. He tells everyone to stand up and chant: ‘Show – me – the money! Show – me – the money!’ It’s as if we’ve been transported back to the 1980s.

All the speakers here at the ‘Money Maker Summit’ sell online courses that will supposedly help you escape your nine-to-five and achieve ‘financial freedom’. After Chloë and Ryan comes Rob Moore, wearing a black and sequinned Alexander McQueen blazer. He begins by saying that it’s not a sin to want money – a kind of Gordon Gekko pastiche. ‘I’m going to hell and I’m f-ing rich,’ he tells us. He writes ‘HOW TO GET F-ING RICH’ across two big whiteboards.

‘The universe will give you the money next week… or maybe the week after’

Rob is aggressive, looks people in the eye and varies his tone like a man well trained in public speaking – but his business advice comes in self-evident banalities. You want a ‘low-cost, high-speed’ company, with ‘low stock, low overheads’. ‘You might want to write this down,’ Rob says, and the crowd do what they’re told. He has more than a million followers on social media, and a crazed, cult-leader way about him.

‘Give me some bosoms to nuzzle in!’ he says between bits of business talk. ‘I can say what I want! Tits, cock, bollocks! I’m uncancellable!’ Before lunch, he says: ‘If you want me to sign your breasts, I’m going to be here.’