December is here and it’s going to be murder out there from now until the new year. Spectactor Life writers explain how to get through it – from swerving bores and turning down invitations to lining your stomach and crashing with panache…
Swerve bores
Celia Walden
When trying to escape the party bore, pick an excuse that’s as close to the truth as possible: ‘So sorry – just seen a man with a tray of bellinis,’ or ‘Be right back: I love pigs in blankets!’ It took me decades to work out that only the most realistic line won’t hamper the rest of your night. I gave up my one-time favourite, from the 1990s classic Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion – ‘I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood’ – because of the limping necessitated, and there’s only so many times you can use the old ‘I’m just going to run to the ladies’ tactic before people start to wonder whether you’re a) incontinent or b) Kate Moss.
Arrive late
Joan Collins
There are various simple ways to survive the six-week explosion of embossed white-card invitations, exclusive ‘e-vites’ and the occasional last-minute phone call that many of us receive between November and the new year.
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