Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

I’m stuck in Surrey, get me outta here!

The need to escape becomes more pressing every day as the cyclists and dog walkers bear down on us

[Ian Lamond / Alamy Stock Photo]

After most of Islington moved to Wales, it was foolish of me to think about following.

But the need to escape from Surrey becomes ever more pressing by the day, with housing developments, racing cyclists and incompetent dog walkers bearing down on us so hard we cannot bear it much longer.

The builder boyfriend has almost finished the renovations, with the top floor insulated and made into a storage area. We can’t afford to do the loft conversion for which we have planning permission, so we have lined and presented the space at the top of the house in all its empty glory so that buyers can see the potential for a third bedroom.

The copper pipes of the plumbing for the en-suite bathroom of the third floor master bedroom we planned when we moved here four years ago stick out like a question mark. The electric cables culminate in temporary plug sockets.

Whoever comes after us will have to jog on with that. We’ve had enough of it. It’s not that we don’t like Surrey. We like it a lot. The convenience is mind-blowing. In 45 minutes on one fast-flowing road you arrive in Chelsea. There are places in London where you can’t get to Chelsea in 45 minutes. In fact, most places.

In Sussex we could afford two boggy acres and a dormer bungalow with a leaking roof

So for access to Chelsea, I would rate my current home as ten out of ten. Unfortunately, it’s no good if you want to ride a horse, because the lanes are full of bikes. Much of the farmland is being built on, while the Highways Agency is eyeing up the heathland for an M25 extension.

But if anyone out there living in a suburb of London fancies life in the almost countryside, on an idyllic village green, 45 minutes from the King’s Road, then I will be happy to sell you a house with two slash three bedrooms.

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