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Inside the Conservatives’ secret ‘black-and-white’ ball

The Conservatives have their black-tie billionaire-laden black-and-white ball tonight – an event shrouded in secrecy. So your spy, Mr Steerpike, is live-blogging it. I’ve already noticed a porn baron or two amongst the guests. But for all of the jolity, where is the cash? The commodity/emerging market crash seems to have hit the pockets of the bidders rather hard. Either that, or they think ten years of Tory government are in the bag. Here’s the live blog:-

10.40pm Things are drawing to a close now – MPs who haven’t been drinking have just done a runner. Perhaps humiliated, on Cameron’s behalf, at the paltry sums that this auction has raised. Cameron himself doesn’t look like he’s having too much fun. Black and white – and red with embarrassment.

10.30pm Oh dear. The sums are more like a church auction than a Tory plutocrat ball. A “personalised composition by Julian Gallant” has just gone for £400. He’s a famed concert pianist and conductor: this time last year, it would have gone for £4,000. Next: a London helicopter ride for… £1,050. Seriously, there are primary schools in West London that could fetch better prices for these auction lots.

10.20pm This is getting embarrassing. A £1,000 Kurt Geiger voucher has just sold for… £1,020 (congratulations, Mrs Thrashing Pankaj, you can sell it on eBay and count tonight as a cheap night out). I have to say – at this rate it’s not clear that Cameron will hit his £2 million fundraising target. If this auction wasn’t sponsored by Shore Capital (whose name is emblazoned on the screen in front of us) it might not even cover its costs.

10.10pm Hmmm, a £1,000 Selfridges gift card (yes, they exist) has gone for £1,500. Not exactly the premium of the year. Funny how, when access is not on offer, no one seems willing to pay very much.

10.05pm And it’s Lord Feldman, Tory chairman and our auctioneer for Lot 8. “Win

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Steerpike
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Steerpike

Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from Westminster and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk or message @MrSteerpike

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