David Blackburn

It’s written in the stars

It's written in the stars
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The gods of fortune have spoken: Gordon Brown is not finished. According to the Independent’s Andrew Buncombe, an Indian astrologer has cast the embattled PM’s horoscope and predicts that we “can expect sudden positive changes in the economy from 19th November 2009”; that Mr Brown will win the election; and that “the year 2011 will be the best year of his lifetime, with many achievements”.

“Why must the British people endure another term as tennis balls for the gods’ sport?” I hear you ask. Well, because Gordon’s got good karma - the position of the moon in his chart suggests that Brown “did good for the marine animals” of yesteryear. Lucky old them - wherever they are now, I'm sure they're pitying us.