Steerpike

Jeremy Corbyn to give ‘Corbyn the Musical’ a miss

Jeremy Corbyn to give 'Corbyn the Musical' a miss
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Tonight marks the first preview performance of the much-anticipated Corbyn the Musical: the Motorcycle Diaries. The 'no-holds barred political satire' musical -- written by Rupert Myers and Bobby Friedman -- imagines Jeremy Corbyn facing a nuclear crisis. It will also offers a take on what may have gone on when Corbyn and Diane Abbott are said to have gone on a motorcycle holiday in the 1970s.

Alas Mr S hears that the Labour leader is less than amused with the idea; he is yet to respond to an invitation to attend. So, to give Corbyn -- and those who failed to get tickets in time -- a taste for the musical, here are the lyrics to the show's opening number 'You needed a hero':

They said I couldn't do it, they said I couldn't win.

There'd never be a P.M. called Jeremy Corbyn.

Now I am in power, the clouds will disappear.

The sun shines on the righteous, hope will conquer fear.

The world's in my hands, you'll sleep safe at night.

Now you're with the left, we're getting it right.

I didn't sell out, I didn't give in,

you needed a hero you got Corbyn.

I've taken on big business,

I'll super tax the banks.

I've annulled the bedroom tax and cancelled all the tanks.

I've no need for Chequers, my palms are never greased.

I've opened all the state rooms to migrants from the East.

Women only carriages, a manifesto vow.

All children have to learn about the works of Chairman Mao.

My career was always stalling, now I'm in the driving seat, today the red flag's flying above Ten Downing Street.

Meanwhile word reaches Steerpike that of all the media organisations keen catch a preview glimpse of the performance, Russia Today were the most persistent. Couldn't be anything to do with a character by the name of Mr Putin featuring in the show, could it?

Written bySteerpike

Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from London and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk.

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Topics in this articlePoliticsdiane abbottcorbyn