An argument you sometimes hear from those sitting on the Brence (the Brexit fence) is that it’s a pity the EU couldn’t have stayed the same as it was when we first joined it in 1973. Back then, say the Brence-sitters, it was a trading bloc with only nine members, which made sense. Greece wasn’t a member, nor were Spain and Portugal, never mind Lithuania, Latvia and all those other countries ending in vowels.
But if we could go back to that better arrangement — play fantasy politics, as it were — would we, with hindsight, want it to include France and Italy, two of the original nine? Their economies are both now looking pretty rackety.
In fact, isn’t there only one country in Europe with which we would want to be BFF (Best Friends Forever)? You know the one I’m talking about. The Big G. Not only are we temperamentally similar to our German friends, we also have more in common with them than we do with our neighbours the French, or even our cousins the Americans (who, with Trump on the rampage, are looking increasingly foreign).
We have the same Protestant work ethic as the Germans. We enjoy the same things, such as brass bands, rambling and driving German cars. We both consider the sausage the height of culinary sophistication. We prefer beer to wine. And guess which country has taken over from Germany as having the worst reputation for reserving sun loungers with towels? That’s right, us, according to a survey for Travel Supermarket. Imitation? Flattery?
We both love rules, prudence, and ironic, self-deprecating humour of the kind personified by Henning Wehn, the darling of Radio 4 comedy, who wears a stopwatch to time his routines.
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