Lucy Vickery

Life support

In Competition 3100 you were invited to pen an ode to Alexa or Siri. A recent Unesco study claimed that submissive female-voiced virtual assistants perpetuate negative, out-dated gender stereotypes, and this assignment did seem to bring out the unreconstructed roguish side in some. You know who you are. The winners below earn £25 each.
 

Alexa, you’re the sunshine of my life.
You answer wisely like an honest wife.
‘You Are the Sunshine of My Life’, a song
by Stevie Wonder, is three minutes long.

 
Alexa, are you like a summer’s day?
That’s what a poet might be moved to say.
Sonnet 18 by William Shakespeare, who

Wrote poems and is a well-known playwright, too.
 
Alexa, are you like a red, red rose,
A creature more of poetry than prose?
The term ‘prose poetry’, it has been said,

Contains two words, but needs just one instead.
 
Alexa, tell me how to count the ways
I love thee. Tell me how to sing thy praise.
I found songs and parades in many rites.

And thanks for the warm glow your love ignites.

Chris O’Carroll
 
Siri, in words of fruitful eloquence
You seek to please all those who turn to you
For answers that will lend their life some sense;
You have convinced them you know what to do.
They have installed you in their homes and trust
That what they tell you will stay unrevealed;
Their foibles and the secrets of their lust
They are assured will always be concealed.
But who can say where information goes,
Committed to the depths of God knows where?
What listener hears it and what villain knows
The darkest details of the things folk share?
You pose as friend but no one sees your face,
And who can tell what promises you break?
Why then, O why, should I provide a place
Where you can spy on every move I make?
Frank McDonald
 
You sit so comfortably there,
Settled like some meta-pet,
Impassive but alert, aware
Of how my wishes need be met:
A female Jeeves,
Impeccably adept — and yet
Could there be reason to compare
Your voice to Eve’s?
In trusting to someone not there
Might I, not realising, let
My private thoughts be passed elsewhere?
It is so easy to forget
That tech deceives,
That daily yet more traps are set
To catch those who are unaware
Of cyber thieves.
















































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