‘My’ truth about Meghan and Harry

Caroline Rose Giuliani, the daughter of the former mayor of New York, Rudy, has been talking to the press about one of her hobbies. Apparently she likes nothing more than playing the role of a ‘unicorn’ — the third partner in a sexual liaison. She explained: ‘Finding the strength to explore these more complicated, passionate aspects of my personality became the key to harnessing my voice and creative spark, which in turn helped me better cope with depression, anxiety, and the lingering cognitive effects of adolescent anorexia.’ This is a fascinating approach to curing eating disorders, I think. Caroline’s dad, if you remember, is unable to tuck his shirt into his trousers without lying down on a bed and obtaining assistance from a young lady. They are a very interesting family.

Incidentally, I had often wondered why the Scottish national animal is a unicorn, seeing as it has even less basis in reality than their aspirations for an independent currency. But having learned via Caroline the other meaning of the word, and watched the various SNP scandals unfold, I now understand. They are all at it like knives, up there — every hour that God sends.

Reading Caroline’s explanation for why she likes to go out shagging strangers, you are immediately beckoned into the modern American psyche. Such epic, almost heroic, self-obsession and narcissism, plus pretentiousness and a healthy side order of acquired victimhood. And the overriding message: I will do what I want and you will not judge me. Au contraire, Caroline — over here, in the UK, we will, because we’re like that and come at the story from a different perspective.

The USA is the least communalistic and most individualistic nation of any on Earth. It is written into their Declaration of Independence that an individual’s right to the pursuit of happiness trumps, if I can use the word, every other consideration.