My wine-fuelled mini break

For Christmas Caroline bought me a ‘Deluxe Gift Experience’ at Chapel Down, the UK’s leading winery. I say ‘me’, but it was actually a present for her too since it was a ‘couples’ package. For £490 we got a private tour of the vineyard, a wine–tasting session, dinner for two in the Chapel Down restaurant, an overnight stay at the Sissinghurst Castle B&B and free tickets to visit Sissinghurst gardens the following morning.

We left it a little late to book and the only slot they had available was last weekend, presumably because it clashed with the Jubilee bank holiday. I imagine the sort of people this package appeals to – middle-class oenophiles with an interest in gardening – are the type who were busy organising street parties and village fêtes.

The ‘experience’ began with our arrival at the B&B, where we were immediately offered tea and cake by the owner, a former professional chef. The cake looked very tempting indeed – swirls of chocolate icing covered in raspberries – but I was anxious not to incur any additional expense, so declined. In fact, as Caroline later explained, it was all part of the package, at which point I was furious. I would have eaten the whole bloody thing if I’d known.

She had wisely booked a taxi to take us to Chapel Down, because we were both expecting to be three sheets to the wind by the time we’d finished our dinner and the winery was a 25–minute drive away. That meant a pleasant journey through the Kent countryside, which had never looked more fecund.

When we arrived in the gift shop the man at the checkout immediately impressed me by saying: ‘Judging from the look of you, you’re here for the private tour.’