Rod Liddle

Nail A Cretin And Win A Bottle of Bubbly

Nail A Cretin And Win A Bottle of Bubbly
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You will be hearing a good deal of mind-numbingly stupid, meaningless or plainly inaccurate quotes from politicians over the next four weeks. So instead of buying a pump action rifle and crouching in combat gear at the end of your local high street out of frustration and fury, send the worst ones to me here: On May 7 I’ll select the most truly fucking egregious and bung the sender a bottle of bubbly. I’ll monitor your submissions every day and add a few of my own. Thinking about it, maybe we should also present the author of the most banal, vapid and insulting political quote with a suitable prize, such as anthrax.

Let me start the ball rolling with this piece of utter and complete shite from a certain Mr Nicholas Clegg:

"This country, Britain, has now had Tory or Labour governments for 65 years doing the same old thing, taking it in turns to make the same old mistakes over and over again.”

What, Nick – you mean mistakes like defeating fascism, creating the National Health Service, providing free education for all, winning the cold war (etc etc etc). How stupid do you think we are? I originally gave Nick a seven on the Arseometer for this piece of toss, but his decision to remind us what our country is called – Britain! – whacks it up to a very respectable EIGHT points.